More Than a Picture

“These places, and the experiences I had in them, were mine and mine alone. The senses of solitude, ownership, and place that I felt on these trips were creating a private world that, by definition, was impossible to share. Nevertheless, I tried. I took photographs and posted online albums of my trips; however, the images failed. They were unsuccessful because they were removed in time and location from what I went through to be in the place at that time. To a person sitting in an office or a living room, a picture of a mountain is just a picture. To me, it was the experience of taking the picture.” pg. 95-96

Re-reading books has become a habit of mine, so it shouldn’t be surprising to those who know this about me that this passage comes from a book that I first read about 2 years ago and am currently re-reading for the third time: Between a Rock and a Hard Place by Aron Ralston. As I was sitting in my living room after a day at work reading this book that I’ve read multiple times, I realized how fitting it is to my life right now. I’ve already disclosed in past posts that I’m terrible at blogging, and just journaling in general, but I’m coming to realize that it’s not because I can’t write about “the every day”, it’s because in order to fully convey the significance of my experiences I would have to dedicate so much time to writing my blog that I would be missing out on things that are making my JV year so valuable. And even if I did spend all my time blogging in an attempt to have everyone reading my blog understand how instrumental this year has been, I still wouldn’t be able to paint and accurate picture of JVC Nashville. There is no way to put into words the uniqueness of each of my community members and how their quirks make stories and moments that much more memorable; or how great it is to come home to a group of women that not only is interested in how your day went but can relate to the challenges you face, or even how awesome it felt when we finally felt like we’re finding our place in this city.

I can’t even begin to put into words how working with men who are dealing with drug/alcohol addiction and homeless has challenged my way of thinking and has begun to change me. When I started at Room In The Inn I felt like was just “Brian’s replacement” since the majority of the guys in the program entered Odyssey when he was the JV and I was the new person taking over his responsibilities. While I have since formed my own identity with the guys in Phase III, it wasn’t until the end of October, when the new Phase I group entered Odyssey, that I felt I found my place. The 10 men who entered the program just over a month ago have only ever known me as being the JV, and getting to see them from the very beginning was something I missed out on before. I got to spend a month seeing them interact in Pre-Odyssey and witness friendships form before they even moved in and then see the excitement and nervousness on their faces when they moved in on October 29^th.  While it was a chaotic day for me, running around making sure things were going well, I’ll never forget how one of the men put one of his shirts on one of the few hangers we had (we hadn’t had the chance to run to the store to purchase more yet) and exclaimed to one of his new roommates “This is the first time I’ve been able to do this in 15 years” as he hung the shirt in his own closet. It was at this moment I realized how much of an impact my job is having on these individuals, and how much I take for granted. In no means has this past month been easy, but it’s little moments like that that remind me that the stresses are worth it and of why I chose to dedicate myself to a year of JVC. 

Long story short: I have fallen love with Nashville. To all of you sitting at your computers reading this post, the stories that I share are just glimpses into my life here and the pictures I post online are just pictures; but to me, these stories are becoming defining moments of my life and the pictures I’ve taken are reminders of the bonds I'm forming.

I'm really bad at blogging....

So blogging isn’t my strongest suit, especially when it comes to writing about what I consider “the every day”, but I apologize for not being on top of it.

Anyways, Friday marked 2 months since I’ve been a part of JVC and the time seems to have flown by. It really seems like just yesterday that we were moving into our “broken” house. I say “broken” because when we moved in the washer and dryer were both broken and we had various issues with our kitchen sink (water pressure issues then it constantly dripping); thankfully those problems have since been resolved and our house is completely functional now (*knock on wood*).

I really enjoy work. Pre-Odyssey, which is the preliminary phase to our program for participants to show us that they are dedicated to being in Odyssey and for us to determine if they’re a good fit for the program, started October 1^st, so it finally feels like I’m being productive in my job. It was part of my responsibility to plan education week for Pre-Odyssey, which is next week so hopefully that goes well.

As far as community goes we’ve been getting along well. We decided to go on “friendship dates” every week in order to build individual relationships in addition to our community as a whole. They’ve been a lot of fun; some of mine have included a 16-mile bike ride and tacos (from Mas Tacos), breakfast at the Nashville Biscuit House and Bagel Face, and dinner at Puckett Grocery. The weeks have been flying by so it’s been a great way to get us to focus on spending time with each other as well as exploring Nashville.

Like I said I’m not great at blogging, and it doesn’t help that there isn’t Internet at the house (which isn’t that big of a deal) so I have to be much more intentional about it. Maybe I’ll get better at updating this throughout the year, but for now, as a warning, posts will be sporadic.

First Week at Room In The Inn

            Work officially started on Wednesday and so far I really enjoy it (and I’ve survived the “wonderful” Nashville bus system so that’s a bonus), though I haven’t started working solely with the Odyssey program yet. For the first 2 weeks I’m being immersed in all the on goings of Room In The Inn and have done a variety of things in the few days I’ve been at work: sitting in on classes, hanging out at the Day Center and Guest House, working at the Support Desk, helping with lunch, sitting in on the morning meetings with the Odyssey guys, and attending daily wrap-up, which happens after the Day Center closes for the day. It’s a lot to take in but I think I’m getting the hang of it. While I’ve never worked in this type of ministry before, I I don’t really feel out of place and think I’m really going to enjoy working at Room In The Inn.

            I also have really enjoyed meeting my fellow staff members; everyone is really nice and a few of them even took me out to lunch on my first day (we went to Hot Diggity Dog, which is a local hot dog place and it was pretty good). Also, while I haven’t had the chance to work with the Odyssey guys much I’ve met most of them and they are a great group of guys and I look forward to getting to work with them more.

Welcome to Tennessee!

It is weird to think that just over a week ago I boarded a plane to start my journey to Indiana for orientation that would officially mark the start of my JVC year. For the next year I will be living in Nashville, TN working with the Odysessy Program at Room In The Inn.

Orientation dedicated a day to each of the four values (spirituality, community, social justice and simple living) to get us familiarized with them and how we are going to be intentionally living this next year. Amongst the info sessions there were also group bonding exercises where we were given the opportunity to get to know our community (Alison, Katie, Veronica, Jane, Tracy, Eileen and me), as well as the JVs in other communities, better. I love the group of girls that I’ll be living with and I think that we’re going to have an awesome year together. Over all orientation was necessary and definitely helped me prepare for the upcoming year, but by the middle of the week I was anxious to get to Nashville.

It took about 5 hours to get from orientation to Nashville and along the way we stopped in Louisville for lunch, as well as stopping at the “Welcome to Tennessee” sign for a mandatory picture. When we got to the house in East Nashville, we all gathered for a pep talk written by Katie and Veronica; the pep talk that was supposed to be in our binder was missing so they wrote one that was personal to us which was a great way to kick off the year. It was weird moving into a house that was already decorated and furnished, it felt like we were more here for a visit rather than moving in. All of the FJVs from last year left us detailed instructions on how to get to work and various other details of what our jobs will entail; which we greatly appreciated. We weren’t able to pick our stuff up until Monday so it was hard to make our house feel homey at first, but we were able to bond over cleaning and finding where exactly things were in our own house.

JVC has done a good job at making sure we feel acclimated once arriving in Nashville. The day we first got here one of our support people, Louisa, brought us dinner and then the next day Ben and Jenny took us on a tour of the city and took us out to lunch. We also met Brian, the FJV who was in my position last year and is staying in Nashville, as well as a few of our neighbors. Everyone has been really nice and has made us feel very welcomed.

We don’t start work until Wednesday, but on Monday and Tuesday we went on Area Visits, during which all 7 of us went to each other’s agencies. Monday we went to The Oasis Center, where both Katie and Veronica are working; Project Return, where Jane is working; and Southern Migrant Legal Services, where Eileen is working. And then Tuesday we went to Room in the Inn, my workplace; Catholic Charities, where Alison is working; and The Bridge, where Tracy is working. All of the places seem really great and everyone was very friendly. Visiting the workplaces definitely got us more excited to start work.

Final Sharing

Throughout the past month something that I, and other PMs, heard occasionally from volunteers was “it’s so great for you to give up your summer to come out here”, but the thing was none of us feel like we’re “giving up our summer” and if we had it our way, most (if not all) of us would be out here much longer than the time we were hired for. It’s hard to describe why I feel drawn to being at Re-Member and working on Pine Ridge. I’ve tried to put it into words so many times, but nothing I say ever seems to accurately explain my connection. A part of me thought that after working at Re-Member this summer I would be able to better communicate to my friends and family why I enjoy traveling almost 2,000 miles to a place that many people have never heard of or have forgotten about, but if anything it just made that task harder and I’ve come to realize that the only way that anyone can truly understand why I keep going back to Re-Member and to Pine Ridge Indian Reservation is if they experience it themselves, the best I can do is give them a snapshot of what makes the experience so captivating.

My time at Re-Member this summer was more than I could have imagined it could be: I learned how to not only skirt trailers, build bunk beds and outhouses, and work on roofs but how to instruct doing such tasks. I drove 15 passenger vans. I went horseback riding. I saw buffalo for the first time. I watch insane lightening. I inhaled more sawdust and dirt than I probably should have. I didn’t mind eating sandwiches for lunch everyday and potato bar was by far my favorite night of the week. I learned several new card games. I discovered that no matter how many times you fix the sandpaper on some of the sanders in the workshop, some of them are just a lost cause. I stargazed at the top of the hill. I formed friendships with not only fellow staff members but with volunteers. I saw the gratefulness of a woman who was having her roof repaired by Re-Member and the smiles on children’s faces as bunk beds were delivered. I loved the new blue sponges (Jordan understands how awesome they were). I “golfed” (aka drove around a golf course while others golfed). I survived 100-degree heat on a regular basis. I learned a new way to dance the Cotton Eye Joe. I reflected in the Badlands every Sunday.  I asked a lot of questions. I was able to carry a full water cooler by myself. I watched volunteers change throughout the course of the week. I watched a teepee be put up. I played with Kilo in office. I saw a lot of grasshoppers and dealt with endless flies. I wasn’t tied to technology. I learned the art of making Awesome Sauce. I appreciated feeling small in a wide-open space. The staff decided to go by their middle names for a day. I learned more about the Lakota culture. I felt at home.

As I sat down to write my final post about the month that I spent working at Re-Member, I find my mind wandering to “what’s currently going on on the Rez”. It’s tour day and I find myself missing the Badlands and counting the volunteers every time we got back on the bus. Inila is the speaker tonight and John will be making pasta for dinner. At about 6:30pm the weekly staff meeting will take place and it feels weird that I won’t be there. I miss everyone immensely, and I can’t express enough my appreciation for each of them and the role they played in making my experience what it was; Ted, Jen, Bill, Bryan, David, Jerry, Erika, Marissa, Jordan, Allie, T, Kate, Coco, Stef, Andy, Eric, Otis, Dan, Ryan, Paula and Yoli (sorry if I forgot anyone! I didn’t mean to J), thank you for helping to make this a great summer. I’ve only been away from the Rez for a little more than a day, but I’m already counting the days until I can return.

Last Week on the Rez

This week has been an interesting week. We kicked it off with a Pow Wow in Community  #4, after which there was an insane storm that cooled everything off...well at least until the morning. Surprisingly I wasn’t in the workshop at all this week; instead I got to work on 2 different skirting/deck jobs and the roofing project we’ve been working on for a few weeks now (I learned how to shingle a roof).

I’m really glad that I decided to leave on Saturday and not on Friday (when the work week is technically over) because it allowed me to have a day to relax and hang out with everyone after the volunteers left. Almost the entire staff went to Lakota Café for breakfast and then a bunch of us went horseback riding. I was supposed to go to a sweat at Inila’s with Marissa and Eric, however after we got there and cut the wood for the fire it looked like it was going to rain. Normally this wouldn’t be a big deal but Inila and his family live about 17miles off the paved road therefore any rain would have had us stuck there for the night, without guarantee I would make it back in time to finish packing and make my flight home. It ended up turning out fine though because we not only made it back to the main road before the rain started, but we were able to extend our visit and have dinner with Inila in town.

This week went by way to fast and I still can’t believe that in less than 12 hours I will be back home in Connecticut; it feels like I just got here. While I miss my family, I’m not ready to leave the Rez or Re-Member.

Days Go By

            As I sit in the Great Room of Shelem after completing our Saturday cleaning, I find it a strange concept that in exactly one week I’ll be back in Connecticut. This past week I feel as though I have found my place at Re-Member, so just as I really have started to get the hang of things I’ll be leaving. People say that time goes by when you're having fun but it's an entirely different thing when you are experience it.

            This past week was a hot one, with multiple days when the high was over 110°F. I got to work in the workshop in the beginning of the week and then deliver beds a few days later; while I’ve become accustomed to the whole process, it is always a joy to see the reactions of the volunteers when they see little kids receiving beds for the first time.

            In addition to bunk beds, I got to do a skirting job this past week, which was very different than the week before since there were less people and it required more instruction on my part. David put me in charge of instructing the volunteers to skirt one of the short ends of the trailer, which turned out pretty well considering I hadn’t done that before. I also got to work on a roofing project this week, which was a lot of fun.

            I’m really looking forward to making the most of this next week and while I’m disappointed to be leaving so soon, but that disappointment is countered by the fact that I know that this is not my last time out here.

Halfway There

            I’m halfway through my time here at Re-Member, which is really weird to think about. The group of volunteers this past week was awesome. I had several really good conversations with a number of them and enjoyed their company very much.

            On the day I was in the workshop we needed to complete 6 bunk beds; we ended up completing 8 ½ bunks, allowing us to deliver beds the following day. The delivery day was interesting in itself because on the second to last delivery we were looking for house #60 when we were supposed to be looking for #90, but we got there eventually.

            I got to go on tour on Wednesday, which ended up being ok. Since I’ve been on it a number of times already it was a little boring, but I did enjoy that there were different people giving the tour at Red Cloud Indian School and that we went up to Red Cloud’s grave.

            On Thursday I was supposed to deliver bunk beds again, but since I had already done it once this week (and twice last week), Marissa offered to switch with me (which I was extremely grateful for); instead I got to work on a skirting job, where it was the goal to start and finish it on the same day. We were very successful and finished the entire job by 2:45pm (our work day typically goes until 4). The best part of the day was when David hit me in the head with a measuring tape; in all actually he was trying to toss it to Jordan and it didn’t quiet make it’s target.

            We ended up going horseback riding again, and this time my horse was a lot more cooperative, though the heat limited how fast we could go. Afterwards a few of us went up to Rapid City for dinner and drinks, which was a lot of fun.

            So far I’m loving my time at Re-Member and know that these next 2 weeks are going to fly by.

First Week Completed

            So the rest of the work week I ended up delivering bunk beds, which is one of my favorite jobs since you are not only getting to see how the components that were built in the workshop fit together, but also see the joy on the faces of the people we deliver them to. It was especially fun on the second day of delivering bunk beds because Jake was one of the volunteers with us (last year the only day we worked together was the Thursday during which we delivered bunk beds) and at the first place we went to deliver beds there were One Direction, Justin Bieber, and other tween idols plastered all over the walls of the bedroom and Jake randomly started singing (and dancing) “What Makes You Beautiful” and “Boyfriend”. It was even better when he danced with the power drill.  And then at the second place he attempted a James Bond move with the power drill.

            On our day off yesterday, a bunch of us decided to go horseback riding, which was a lot of fun…well except for the part when my horse wouldn’t always trot or gallop when I wanted her to. But the view was phenomenal and definitely worth the soreness I’m feeling today.

I made it through my first week on staff at Re-Member and am looking forward to seeing how the next few weeks go.

Re-Member!

As many of you know I will be working at Re-Member for the next four weeks as a Program Manager, and I’ve learned I can never have a non-eventful trip when heading to the Rez. Long story short I was supposed to land in Rapid City at 1:30pm on Friday and head to Re-Member, but instead I arrived 10 hours later, stayed the night in a hotel, heading to Re-Member on Saturday. Though it wasn’t ideal (I didn’t feel settled in which was hard since I was interacting with volunteers and it was also my first time meeting a lot of the staff), it all worked out and I am officially on the Rez for 4 weeks!

So far being on staff is slightly weird since the volunteers look to me for answers to questions and to direct them, and I’m not always sure how to respond or what the proper way to direct them is. I’m still trying to figure things out and the rest of the staff has been really great at helping me learn what I need to do and where things are. I’m not 100% confident yet but I’m getting there (especially now after having a work day under my belt). I slowly, but surely, starting to find my place as a part of staff at Re-Member.

The tour day on Sunday was pretty hot, but Re-Member has started doing the tour day in reverse so we aren’t hiking in the Badlands in the heat of the afternoon. It seemed to work pretty well, and even though volunteers were hit pretty hard with a lot of tough information they all were able to enjoy many other aspects of the day.

Monday was the first work day and I stayed at Re-Member to work on bunk beds in the workshop. I was glad that my first day was doing something that I was pretty familiar with. Overall the day went pretty well, the morning was spent sanding (even though the sand paper didn’t like staying on the sanders) and after lunch I worked with 4 volunteers building frames for the bunk beds. It was great getting to interact more with the volunteers as well as seeing the enjoyment they got out of using the power tools.

Today I got to go out on the Rez and finish a skirting job with David and Megan, though we didn’t have insulation so we weren’t able to completely finish the job. We ended up coming back here mid afternoon and paneling some of the outhouses with the scrap wood from the skirting job. One of the younger volunteers learned that this is my first week working at Re-Member and started jokingly calling me “rookie”. It was a lot of fun getting to interact with some new volunteers as well as a few from yesterday. I also got to drive the van for the first time which went well, though I did make one “rookie mistake” when I cut it a little close when passing a car (it turned out fine, no one got hurt :-P).

I love being back at Re-Member and being able to see the beautiful sceanary! It’s also nice that there is a familiar face among the volunteers, Jake, someone who I met when I volunteered in August. Though it was disappointing his siblings weren’t able to come back this week (especially Kate). I’m looking forward to seeing what the rest of the week brings as well as my next few weeks here!

Assumption College Class of 2012

In just 6 days, I will be graduating from Assumption College. It's scary to think about how fast these last few years have gone by and how much has changed. Tonight after Mass, I was one of the readers at Senior Candlelight, and I wanted to share the talk I wrote:

I didn’t think college was going to change me. I believed that the person who would be graduating in May 2012 was merely going to be an older version of the girl who was moving into Nault in August of 2008. I thought I knew exactly what my college experience was going to be: I would study to become an Accountant, my boyfriend and I would continue to date throughout college and we would get married a few years after graduating, and I would be a collegiate athlete all four years. However, Assumption did change me. I’m not the person I was four years ago, not even close. Over the last few years, I’ve rediscovered my faith through Campus Ministry, I’ve formed friendships that have showed me that I’m not alone, I’ve learned to trust myself, and most importantly I’ve learned that it’s ok not to have it all figured out.

My college experience was nothing like I imagined it would be. It turned out, I hated being an Accounting major; my boyfriend and I weren’t destined to last forever; and after just one year, I would make the choice to end my collegiate swimming career. But that’s ok because my plan didn’t allow for me to grow up and actually experience college. And some of the best things that have happened to me are the ones that were unexpected.

Amongst the studying and paper writing, I’ve stayed up all night talking with friends, laughing uncontrollably over the smallest things; had random dance parties on both weekends and weeknights, even some in the afternoon; gone to Charlie’s or ordered out simply because no one felt like cooking; drove through Worcester with my friends blaring music, singing at the top of our lungs; survived the Ice Storm, Hurricane Irene and that random October snow storm. I got involved with activities that I originally wrote off when told about them at orientation; I played intramurals, attended both the START 1 and START 2 retreats and was on team for several of them, and even traveled to Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota on a SEND trip.

These are the moments that I didn’t plan, but they are the ones I’m going to remember for the rest of my life, these are the moments that shaped me and allowed me to forge friendships that are irreplaceable, that allowed for me to change and start to be the person I was meant to become.

I think we’re hardwired to always want to know what comes next. Until this point all of us have always know what we were going to be doing when the summer days came to an end, we would be going back to school. But in just a few days we’re graduating college. And for the last year whenever we were asked, “So what are you doing after graduation?” we wanted to confidently answer with “I’m going to grad school” or “I have a job at this company” or “I’m doing a year of service”, anything but “Umm I really don’t know yet”. We want to say that we have a plan, that our college education is going to be put to use immediately.

Uncertainty scares us. But no matter what we do after we leave this campus, I can tell you this: Throughout our lives we are going to continue to change, we are going to succeed and we are going to fail, we are going to have moments of happiness and moments of sadness, people are going to come in and out of our lives, but we have to remember to everything we experience is for a reason, whether we know that reason or not. Learn from failures, have faith during times of hardship, learn something from every person you interact with, don’t take a single thing for granted, cherish the ones you love.

Just because we are physically leaving Assumption College, doesn’t mean that all the moments from the last four years are going to vanish; view graduation as the start of a new chapter, not an ending. We’re going to look back and smile at the memories and friendships that this place has given us, and nothing can take that away. We don’t have to have our lives figured out. God has a plan for us, bigger than anything we could have planned ourselves, and part of that plan was Assumption College.

Following each talk a song was played. I chose Sooner or Later by Michael Tolcher